Inspirational Thought

If I had my child to raise over again:

I’d build self-esteem first and the house later
I’d finger paint more and point the finger less
I would do less correcting and more connecting
I’d take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes
I would care to know less and know to care more
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites
I’d stop playing serious and seriously play
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars
I’d do more hugging and less tugging
I’d see the oak tree in the acorn more often
I would be firm less often and affirm much more
I’d model less about the love of power
And more about the power of love.
~ Diane Loomans

Top Ten Things to Teach Your Son or Daughter Part II

Last week, we gave you the Top Ten Things to Teach Your Son.  This week, we are back with the second installment filled with things to teach your daughter.

1. Work hard, even when no one is watching. The definition of integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.
2. Honesty actually is the best policy. Teach your son the value of honesty from an early age.
3. Modesty isn’t an old fashioned ideal. You can be modest and still be trendy.  Emphasize that there is nothing wrong with “leaving something to the imagination.”
4. Protect your heart.  Encourage your daughter to proceed cautiously in dating relationships.
5. Serve your community. So often, the decisions we make affect so many other people.  Talk to your son about how his decisions and actions affect others, and serve with him.  Find a local shelter or soup kitchen, give to a clothing drive – or let him pick how he wants to serve.  It is never too early to start volunteering together.
6. Focus on the beauty on the inside.  Our culture puts so much focus on outer beauty and it is difficult for girls to develop positive body images.  Affirm your daughter’s beauty – inside and out – and encourage her to focus on true beauty: inner beauty.
7. Don’t be afraid to take risks.  Encourage your daughter to pursue her dreams and take (reasonable) risks to advance her learning, her career, and provide enriching learning experiences.
8. Gossip is dangerous.  Girls are known to gossip.  Deal with this habit early on and talk to your daughter about how destructive gossip can be.  And make sure you and mom aren’t gossiping either.
9. Don’t be afraid to walk into a room alone.  This is all about inspiring confidence in your daughter.  Teach her to have a firm handshake, look people in the eye when she talks to them, and to be confident even if she’s not surrounded by her three giggling best friends.
10. Don’t take your blessings for granted. Remind your son how fortunate he is.  It’s easy to lose sight of our blessings, and it is a good reminder for all of us.

Yes, some things overlap, and some things that you teach your son, you should also teach your daughter – and vice versa.  It’s important to know your kids’ personalities so you can know what they need to learn and how they need to grow.

 

Top Ten Things to Teach Your Son or Daughter Part I

As you approach the birth of your child, you might be thinking about important life lessons that he or she should know.  How will you impart all there is to know about life throughout the years?  It’s good to begin thinking about these things even before your child is born, so that you can be sure to model them throughout life.  Today and next week, we will post the top ten things we think you should teach your son or daughter.  You might notice some repeating between the two, because many of the things we teach young girls and boys are the same.  This week, we’ll start with your son.

1. Work hard, even when no one is watching. The definition of integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.
2. Honesty actually is the best policy. Teach your son the value of honesty from an early age.
3. Have a good handshake. Inspire confidence in your son.  Encourage him to look people in the eye when he talks to them and to approach every situation with confidence.
4. Always treat women with respect. This is an area where your son will do as you do, more so than listen to what you say.  It is essential that you talk to him explicitly about what it means to respect women – starting with his mothers and sisters – and also show him in your actions and the way you treat his mother.
5. Serve your community. So often, the decisions we make affect so many other people.  Talk to your son about how his decisions and actions affect others, and serve with him.  Find a local shelter or soup kitchen, give to a clothing drive – or let him pick how he wants to serve.  It is never too early to start volunteering together.
6. Don’t be afraid of or ignore emotions. So often, it seems that manhood today is associated with “strong and silent.”  However, your son will be happier and healthier if he learns to acknowledge his emotions and work through them.  Encourage your son to talk to you about how he feels about certain situations.  Who knows – it could be good for your emotions too!
7. Be able to cook and clean for yourself. Your son will probably live on his own for at least a few years.  Don’t let him depend on mom for everything.  Even if his culinary skills stop at scrambled eggs, it is important that he learn to take care of himself.
8. Be smart about the risk you take. Boys tend to be natural risk-takers, which can be good, but these tendencies also need to be guided.  Encourage adventure while teaching your son to think through his decisions.
9. Know your weaknesses.  Today’s culture is filled with temptations and distractions – particularly for young men.  Talk to your son about the importance of knowing yourself well enough to know your weaknesses – and how to avoid and walk away from risky situations.
10. Don’t take your blessings for granted. Remind your son how fortunate he is.  It’s easy to lose sight of our blessings, and it is a good reminder for all of us.

A Few Tips to Get You There

Are you a new dad? If so, congratulations!  You might have heard it a hundred times, but it’s true—your life will change forever.  How you define yourself personally and professionally will change to add the role of “involved, responsible, and committed father.”  This role is one of the most important and rewarding jobs you’ll ever have.

Here are some tips to help you be the best “new dad” you can be!

1) Know that it is normal to have fears! You might be asking the question, “Am I ready to be a dad?” Most first-time parents will tell you that they do not feel ready for this new direction in their lives.  It is a fear of the unknown.  However, just being a dad will take away a great deal of worry.  When you dive in and do the job, it won’t seem so difficult, and you’ll discover the joys of this great experience.

2) Get on-the-job-training!  Start immediately to be responsible for various aspects of caring for your baby—even if you’ve never done it before.  For example, feed your baby with a bottle.  Or, you can get up at night and bring your baby to morn to feed.  Other tasks you can easily handle are bathing your baby, changing diapers, rocking and soothing, and/or singing to your baby.  These activities will not only help out your child’s mother, but they will help you connect physically and emotionally with your child.

3) Ask questions and do research!  If you are worried about how to change a diaper or how to hold your child, don’t be afraid to ask!  Take advantage of help available through your spouse, friends, family, doctors, nurses, other experienced dads, etc… Oftentimes, these people are more than willing to help.  You can also read books on fathering, order NFI’s Daddy Pack ^TM for New Dads or visit www.fatherhood.org for more information and resources.  Chances are, your wife has read a lot in anticipation of the baby’s arrival.  She’ll love to see you doing your homework as well!

4) Be a Team! Adjusting to life with a new baby in the house is rewarding.  Look at it as an opportunity to grow closer with your spouse and to bond together as a family.  The more you work as a team (sharing household chores, complimenting one another, sharing the care of your baby, accepting help from trusted friends and family, scheduling date nights, etc…), the more you will be able to experience the precious little moments with your child.  Not to mention, sharing the load might help with getting some extra sleep!

5) Enjoy the moment! Time flies by when you have a child.  Be sure to take away every opportunity to cherish time spent with your baby.  It is important to spend some time every day (apart from TV, internet, work, outside commitments, etc…) looking into the eyes, and listening to the coos, of your baby.  It is in those moments, no matter what life throws at you, you instinctively know that being an involved, responsible, and committed dad is living life to the fullest!