Food for Thought: What Stops Men From Being Involved Fathers

At Dadday, our goal is to make sure that new fathers feel comfortable and supported in their new role.  With this in mind, we recognize that there are some factors that inhibit male involvement in parenting.  At our workshops, we discuss these openly with the hope that our students know that they are not alone.  We also guide our dads towards positive solutions.  Below, we have discussed some of the things that we have seen over the years that have inhibited men from being as involved as possible.

1. Work: Many times, men have fears of losing their status as a worker because they are spending too much time with their family.  Sometimes men feel that they will be overlooked for promotion because their employer does not think they are as committed to their job.  In fact, men with family contentment are better workers, according to the Family & Work Institute.
2. Role Models: Many men look back at their own fathers and feel inadequately prepared for their new role.  They either feel that the shoes are too big to fill, or that they have no idea what good fathering looks like.  With support from partners, friends, and Dadday, men can easily grow into their new role as dad.
3. Social Attitudes: There seems to be an inconsistent consensus on what, exactly, the father’s responsibility in the family is—some believe that a father only provides economic support.  We know otherwise, as children’s emotional and cognitive abilities thrive with a father’s involvement.
4. Lack of Support: Sometimes partners and peers can discourage a father’s involvement for a wide range of misinformed reasons.  At Dadday, we provide the space to show fathers just how important their role is in a child’s life.
5. Perceived Lack of Parenting Skills: Many men are not aware that parenting is a learned skill, not a biological imperative.  Fathers should be encouraged and supported to attend childcare classes, like those that we offer at Dadday.

Although there are many things that impact how involved fathers are in the lives of their children, we at Dadday hope to support all men in becoming positive parents and role models.  Come out to a Dadday workshop to see how we are making that happen.

5 Secrets of a Happy Home

Another week has gone by, and we at the Dadday community were thinking about our “5 Secrets of a Happy Home.”  A while ago, we created a list of things that we consider to be important when beginning this new venture, and we are sharing them with you below:

1. Value and Appreciate Mom.  Your relationship with mom is probably the first one of your kids will see, and they’ll model how you talk to and treat each other.  Make it a point to value and respect her, and communicate that to your children through words and actions.
2. Show Love.  You’ve heard the saying, “actions speak louder than words,” for a reason—many times they do!  Kids spell love T-I-M-E so make sure to spend time with them doing special activities and attending school functions.  Daily signs of affection—like hugs and kiss—are also important.  And, of course, while actions do speak louder than words, kind words and, “I love yous” are important for building your child’s worth and self-esteem.
3. Teach Your Kids to See Through Others’ Eyes.  Kids need to learn early on how to resolve conflict and get along with a variety of people.  Modeling this for your children will also be a good reminder to you, and, when taken to heart, will help you keep conflicts from turning into huge arguments.
4. Know that Your Sons and Daughters Need You.  Your sons will watch you to learn how to be men, and your daughters will watch you to learn how to be treated by men.  You may feel more comfortable with your sons, or with your daughters, but it’s important to spend one on one time with both your boys and your girls, teaching them what it means to be men and women.
5. Look to the Future.  You are not who you were yesterday.  Don’t get stuck on past mistakes or decisions and always keep moving forward.  It’s never too late to change, or to create a safe and happy home life for your family.

These five secrets will help you create a safe and happy home environment for your family with less stress and conflict for everyone.  Remember—your kids learn a lot from you, so make sure you are teaching them to be the kind of person you’d want them to be!

Happy Father’s Day!

Dadday wants to begin this blog by wishing all of our readers a happy Father’s Day.  Whether you are a father, or know someone that is a great father, we want to take the time to celebrate what a lot of men are doing every day.  A wonderful quote reads, “My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person; he believed in me.”  It really resonates with the people at Dadday because it speaks to the power of being a great father, and the tremendous connection that you can have with your child.

At Dadday, we spend a lot of time teaching current and future fathers about preparing for their new lives, with the ultimate goal of giving them the tools they need to be great parents.  And in becoming great parents, the men that leave our workshops are able to provide happy and healthy lives for their children.  With dedication, a little trial and error, and a strong support network, we have witnessed countless fathers preparedly step into their new roles, and give their children the “great gift” that quote is talking about.  Great fathering does not come easily.  There is another saying that we at Dadday love that essentially says, “Fathers are not born.  Men grow into fathers.”  Take this holiday weekend to spend time appreciating the role that you have played in the success of your family.  Celebrate this weekend for all the great fathers you know and for the simple fact that Father’s Day only comes once a year!

Also, be sure to check out our website for information on upcoming classes.  We actually have one coming up this weekend.  Come, catch up with other fathers and learn something, all at the same time.

Finding the Info on Fatherhood

Fathers, new and old, often have difficulty finding information that pertains to their parenting roles.  Their questions and needs are vastly different from a mother’s, yet information typically abounds for women, and not men.  If you walk down the pregnancy aisle at Barnes and Noble, you will likely find books targeting mothers.  The same can be said when scouring the internet for information on parenting.  When it comes to being a father, finding information is challenging.  In fact, one study found that, “more than a third [of fathers] felt they were left in the dark by pregnancy websites.”

The existing challenge, however, has not outdone the fathers of today.  In fact, a recent, “online poll of 502 dads and dads-to-be found 80 per cent were eager to learn more about becoming a parent.”  The poll also found that “more than half [of fathers] read books on pregnancy and 30 percent about fatherhood.”  The poll goes on to highlight many other ways that fathers are branching out to get the information that they need.  From talking with their spouses and partners, to connecting with other dads, men all around are making a concerted effort to be knowledgeable.

The immediate benefit of this is obvious as, “studies show children who have fathers confident in their parenting abilities are better off.”  Creating this culture of educated dads is what Dadday is all about.  We want to be part of the process in supporting fathers to understand their crucial roles, and helping them execute great parenting.  If you are looking for a place to start, check out our website, www.dadday.org for more information on what we do!  Also, follow us on Twitter and LinkedIn, and like us on Facebook.